Why did I do this to myself?

This is a question we ask ourselves all to often. This may equate to a decision we have made. In life we make many decisions, some that benefit us and others that may cause us grief or pain. As humans we make decisions almost every moment of our lives, from deciding what to get our bed, what to eat or more major life choices. At times we don’t realise the impact of the decisions, on our behaviour or emotions. We fail to realise is, the decisions we make in the split second may not have any thought behind them and therefore hindsight will serve us well.

When suffering from a mental health condition, every decision can be very difficult and impactful. The decision to wake up and start the day can be the biggest struggle they face. The impulsive nature of some actions such as to self harm or attempt suicide are not necessarily decisions but urges to be fulfilled. However once the urges has been fulfilled the sense of guilt, anger, regret and sadness occurs. Leading to sled harming behaviours which in term creates this endless cyclical affect, which we see in some individuals.

Sometimes we don’t understand why we have done something the 1st time and than a 2nd time it makes no sense at all. Here a person will realise that they may not be in control and giving in to impulsive behaviours to easily. A decision will have to made to manage these urges and gain control on their behaviour and feelings.

Many individuals feel they lose themselves and fear they are trapped in an endless cycle of bad decisions and negativity. However this may be lead by our own anxiety around these choices and emotions.

Dependent on the mental health condition, many individuals find it hard to regulate their emotions, the overwhelming nature of the behaviour which follows. This can cause them to spiral out of control and engage in risky behaviours.

However if support is given and understanding that we all have a decision, no matter how impulsive the behaviour can be. So if someone is struggling than it’s important to remind them of the steps and decisions they have taken that day to reach that point; getting out of bed, eating some food and talking to someone etc. As we forget the small decisions we do and only focus on the bigger decision, this makes us forget the positive nature of every decision.

Talking therapies, mindfulness, CBT or DBT are all effective therapies which can assist in acknowledging the negative thoughts and increased anxiety. Attempting to face the problem and to help cope with your feelings and thoughts.

A person should never feel the choices they make were wrong, should be the opposite, acknowledge the decision and learn from it. Also to use the coping mechanism that aid a them when they feel overwhelmed and see no other solution.

Truth doesn’t matter

We speak the truth and no one wants to listen or believe it. When we lie and cover up our truth we are heard loud and clear. The truth for us may hurt and make us feel uncomfortable, we can’t expect anyone else to understand, so we lie. The human race presumes they can assume what others will think and say. But in reality this may not even be the case. So to protect ourselves, we lie as it’s easier to cope with. However the lie will mean the truth is more painful and harder to cope with.

A lie is our defence mechanism against reality as we can’t face the truth ourselves. We test people with small snippets or hypothetical topics that are linked to our truth. We do this to try and understand the other persons perspective and opinion on it. If we feel their reaction is not what we want it to be, we close up and lie. Also telling the truth can cause a lot of pain and hurt others, indirectly without any intention.

Speaking the truth may not always be the best option. A lie and truth is an infinite circle which keeps revolving with no sign of ever stopping. A lie can easily turn to truth and a truth can be a lie. A person can suppress the truth so much so the lie becomes their reality.

An individual with a mental health condition struggles with this reality more so than the average person. Everyone struggles with the inner battle of truth vs lie. But someone with a mental health condition battles with the need to cry for help and protect themselves. However this can be detrimental to their recovery as the constant lying can lead to the truth not being dealt with. In addition, some may speak the truth but be un heard and people around them whom are un-willingly to listen. For this reason, the individual may start to think the the truth doesn’t matter as the lie is getting attention. We need to stop this cycle and recognise within ourselves that as much as the truth is painful and difficult to face it is necessary to be able to progress and recover.

It’s everyone’s duty to make a person feel safe and comfortable to speak their truth without fear. In doing so people won’t feel the need to lie or use it as a defence mechanism.

Pictures keep secrets just like people do

Every person has secrets of their own varying in its impact and seriousness. The secret could be their own battle with mental health, abuse the knowledge of their actions which could be deemed inappropriate by society or even they don’t like someone etc. We keep all this locked up in hopes no one will ever know. But the truth is no secret is a secret.

People where many masks throughout their lives such as the social mask. The mask allows them to interact and manoeuvre in everyday life without their secret affecting them and everyone knowing. However a mask is a temporary cover it has a tendency to fall off or reveal small aspects of what’s underneath.

Everyday a person tells the world their secrets without even being aware they are, called cognitive leaks. The stress of trying to mask a secret everyday comes at a cost. Our behaviour, feelings, thoughts, body language and facial cues will begin to give away the secret, allowing the world insight into our hidden world.

They say your eyes are the gateway into your soul, this can be true as you can’t mask your eyes or attempt to hide within them. The same way an image is worth a thousand words. If we take the time and observe people we can see their true pain and cries for help. We all rush around and don’t take a second to just think and look. If we take that second we see the mask which is being worn, we see the truth attempting to come out and the person as a whole. No one knows what the other is going through but we can attempt to support the person and offer our own advice from our experience.

Individuals with mental health where a mask but they try and take it off and cry for help but often no one notices or takes the time to observe it is occurring.

Sometimes we don’t keep secrets to hide from people but use them to protect them very people.

It’s okay not to be okay and too speak out and admit your mask has fallen and you no longer want to put it back on. Let’s take the first step and talk to each other.Just because you have the picture doesn’t mean you have the full story. We each have our own truth.

The Journey Begins

Hello everyone, firstly thank you for clicking on my blog page. I decided to start a blog,  as I have witnessed and experienced a lot of misunderstanding and confusion in mental health. In addition, the existing stigma and taboo in today’s society causes feelings and thoughts to be repressed rather than talked about. For this reason I am hoping the blog can spread awareness and provide an understanding to those who do and don’t have a mental health condition.

Mental health in your words is a blog, which writes from an understanding perspective, that is jargon free. I use language and content which is relatable to all those read.

Hope you find my blogs informative and interesting.

Thank you in advance.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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